hahahhahaha... some stuff people said about Kyle Farnsworth, the new AWESOME Yankee, ex-Tigers setup man:
Kyle Farnsworth once beat 6 men to a pulp just by eating his cole slaw at KFC
Kyle Farnsworth doesn't sleep, he waits
He should take his rage out on the opposing players by challenging them to a death match in a pit of venomous geese
He is going to be exporting pain and importing respect like he's his own private nation-state
Kyle Farnsworth once killed a man just for saying "hello."
The chief export of Kyle Farnsworth is pain
He once punched a hole in a cow just to see what was coming up the road.
Farnsworth has dandruff the size of mice
Kyle Farnsworth likes to knit sweaters. And by "knit", I mean "kick". And by "sweaters" I mean "babies".
There is no theory of evolution, just men Kyle Farnsworth has allowed to live
He once ate the entire city of Pittsburgh and then used Charleston, West Virginia for an after-dinner mint!
Farny's the one that brings down King Kong in this years blockbuster movie.
He once breast fed an injured Flamingo back to health
Farnsworth once took a dump in the ocean, we now call that dump Australia
Kyle Farnsworth played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
If you can see Kyle Farnsworth, he can see you. If you can't see Kyle Farnsworth you may be only seconds away from death.
Kyle Farnsworth does not break wind. He destroys it.
If you drop a phonograph needle on Farnsworth's nipple, it plays the Beach Boys' "Pet Sounds."
Kyle once took a piss in a dessert, You now know that dessert as the Atlantic Ocean
Ever have a sharp pain in your chest that you can't explain? That was Kyle Farnsworth, and it was a warning.
If Farnsworth was on the WWE he would simply be known as Farnsworth.
Kyle Farnsworth once fell in a pool of lava. He nearly drowned.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Kyle Farnsworth.
Kyle eats lightning and craps thunder.
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